Supporting your child through exam stress – a parent’s guide

With exams now underway for many, the atmosphere in many households can become tinged with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. Whether it’s GCSEs, National 5s (N5), A-levels or mock exams, it’s normal for children to feel pressure when sitting exams. As parents, it’s natural to want to support our children during these crucial times, but knowing the right ways to do this can be a challenge. In this guide, Dr Danielle Grey, Clinical Director at Purple House Clinic Birmingham, shares her insights on how parents play an important role in helping their children navigate exam stress and build resilience for the future.

Take the time to listen

Discuss exam pressures with a compassionate, patient, and proactive approach. At the core of helping a child through such experiences is establishing a consistent, safe, and nurturing environment where they can express their feelings without judgement. It can be difficult for children to talk about their feelings but encourage your child to notice their emotions and use strategies to keep their anxieties in check – for example, relaxation, distraction and breathing exercises.

Open communication fosters a supportive environment where children feel safe to express concerns. Our children’s anxieties may present differently and can trigger outbursts or changes in behaviour that seem abnormal to their usual selves. But remember the pressures that your children are currently facing and try to remain a calming influence. Keep yourself available as an outlet for your children to express their feelings.

Manage expectations and set realistic goals

Support your child to set realistic goals and expectations. If your child finds exams difficult and starts to view themselves through a self-critical lens, encourage them to be compassionate, problem-solve and identify ways to seek support. As parents, we want our children to succeed, and at times, we might need to be mindful about how we respond to setbacks. Take time to understand your child’s difficulties rather than being critical or comparing them to peers. Encourage your child to remain focused on their efforts and progress rather than becoming bogged down by the pressure to achieve the perfect grade.

Find learning opportunities

If working or revising with your children, avoid immediately resolving challenges for them. While certain situations may require your intervention, many instances serve as golden opportunities for children to learn and grow. By allowing them to navigate their own way through some challenges, they not only learn to find solutions but also develop critical problem-solving skills. This hands-on experience in handling difficulties bolsters their confidence and teaches them perseverance. In the long run, fostering this sense of independence and resourcefulness in children equips them to face life’s challenges with resilience and tenacity.

However, if your child is struggling and needs extra support, take time to understand their anxieties and difficulties. Try to understand what support they need and share how you will help them to overcome the challenges. Continue to check in to explore whether the plan has resolved their concerns or what you might need to consider next.

Healthy body, healthy mind

Mental health and physical health are interconnected. Exercise can boost energy levels, act as a distraction from studies, relieve stress and improve sleep. Regular exercise will not only support your child’s physical and emotional wellbeing but can also provide an opportunity to spend time together. Exercise has been proven to reduce stress, by releasing endorphins that boost brain health.

Sleep plays a critical role in memory consolidation, where the brain commits new information to long-term memory. Lack of sleep can impair cognitive function and concentration, negatively affecting exam performance. Allowing your child time to wind down from studying before bedtime will help them to slow down and relax. Wind down should be about activities that support sleep, such as reading, relaxation or having a shower, rather than using phones and other technology.

Take a break

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that ‘more is more’ and that non-stop studying will lead to exam success. However, incorporating regular breaks can support learning and memory retention. Support your child to take regular breaks and plan time away from the revision guides to enjoy activities and spend time with friends and family. A balanced diet is vital for your child’s wellbeing, and planning regular breaks will provide an opportunity to maintain a healthy diet.

Celebrate

Finally, and most importantly, don’t forget to celebrate your child’s efforts and progress throughout the exam period. Praise their hard work and resilience and let them know that you’re proud of them no matter what.

For some young people, exams might coincide with other challenges and worries, making it difficult to cope. If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, it is important to seek professional support. Make an appointment with your GP or contact Purple House Clinic, a mental health service that offers support to children, adolescents and adults, at: www.purplehouseclinic.co.uk/